If I live forty more years I figure my life will pay for itself

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

I’d always said Que sera, sera expecting the last guffaw Instead it’s a last hurrah before one or the other coups d’et…

We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

Over the course of life I’ve never managed to finish anyth… but for always completing my course of antibiotics

Social media is proof of concept That you can please Some of the people all of the time And this starts to feel mighty pow… But this feeling is a forgetting

My wife sleeps on her back while I sleep in the mis– take prone position

All the advanced metrics say that A bird in the hand Is worth two in the bush But the burning bush advances the… That we are consumed by jealously…

The realist doesn’t look at clouds… that describes the escapist The realist looks at clouds and se… from her childhood

The lion hasn’t lain down with the lamb if, in its slumber the lion dreams it’s a lamb

For the longest time we were convinced there’s something they’re not tell… But now that they’ve finally told… we can’t stop asking

Nobody grows up wanting to be a mot– ivational speaker

The screen you’re looking at seven hours a day is actually a magnifying glass

If God is good Then why are people so often evil? It might help if you think of it l… Just as we can all access The light side of the Force

If you want a world that isn’t just a bunch of window dressing don’t have a world in which we’re all constantly being window…