The number one rule For doing a number on us Is taking a number Because when our number comes up It’s only ever because our days ar…
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
It is often wondered whether the v… People of the Book are reading fiction or non-fiction but since they are each reading an… of a relationship that is phenomen…
The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–
All ideas that stood the test of t… Are outdated ideas because They failed to meet our search cri… There’s no time like the present
All forms of certainty are mutations of knowing that you must die which is why the true believer is always the most likely
And so I wake in the morning and I stay inside and I take a deep breath and I let out a sigh and I stream from the top of my ru…
If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon
What looks like the wreckage of my life is just my crumple zone doing its job
You’re only a real materialist If you demand that believers Do the impossible And then get angry When they prove you wrong
Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death
Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk
The scientific method has, at long last arrived at a unifying theory which, for it is a dead end
I finally realized that when Smokey Bear says Only you can prevent forest fires Only I really believe him
Johnny Cash is going to Jackson; I have been to Jacksonville