“Life”, as it’s come to be known,… And ends with a grand finale But in between there’s just a lot… And grandiloquent small talk But there are grand plans for a se…

Old habits are hard to break but impossible to make New habits, like flossing, are easy to make

I used to stand on the moral high ground to look myself in the eye but now that I’ve plucked it out and thrown it away

Keep your friends close your enemies closer and your neighbor closest

I tried using my get out of jail free card but the CVV on the back was Roman Numerals for eleven

The liberal who makes an illiberal… inevitably wants to have it both w… thereby tightening his own double… I must be free to have power over… but

Saying Get out of your comfort zone to an American is like telling a turtle to get out of its shell

We guard the thin line between love and hate by loving more But we cross the thin line between self-love and self-hate

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…

The only thing Bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me

Monotheism is true; Liberalism works Put them together and The true works

You start out needing money to advance your ideology but you end up mouthing your ideol… to rake in more money