By Jove, the easi– est way to work on yourself is to get married

Ours was the first all you can eat… to earn a coveted Michelin star and I always thought it was becaus… when you ordered the whole enchila… it came with bottomless fries

You’ll know you’re but a prop In someone else’s mise en scene When, after the photo op And the choir’s said amen You’re left to close up shop

Since seeing is believing all that we really want is kept out of sight, out of mind leaving everything we think we kno… to the imagination

Hook-up apps have given intimacy all the allure of an oil change

We all have stuff With our stuff we do our thing Our thing is making a mess Which is called creation Our mistake is thinking we need to…

My wife is R2-D2 Which, of course Makes me C-3PO She is constantly getting us into… In order to save us from ourselves

All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

People still make all the mistakes but now A.I. does all the learning

Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…

In 2019 KLM Airlines began advertising that you should take the train instead; it felt like being asked to open up the marriage

Life = Trial by fire Death = Trial by firing squad

I told my daughter Let me give you some free advice: You get what you pay for And she said I don’t get it

Nothing is more anathema to our ti… than a phrase that was still secon… just five minutes ago: May the best man win To understand everything we’ve los…

Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000