Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive

The older I get the less I pause for effect This is because the clock is ticking and I’d rather not waste my time

Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both

Gaslight, gas bright First-class I seek tonight I wish I may I wish I might Have the wishful thought

When Plan A is not having a plan Plan B is not having an exit strategy

The biggest stumbling block in bel… that God is in control is further accepting that He put us in charge

Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

Now you only get to choose which hill you’re going to comply on

With social media You can squeeze All of the people All of the time

Saying Get out of your comfort zone to an American is like telling a turtle to get out of its shell

The moment of truth has come and g… Leaving us with the whole truth: The best and worst is yet to come When there will be nothing but the… And you will only know the best fr…

I am a story I tell myself The story is a cover-up The cover-up is always worse than… The crime is merely the will to po… The cover-up is giving away my pow…

Hell is other people Purgatory is other people’s money Heaven is money

I thought I’d crafted a mystique when all I’d rea– lly made were mistakes

As Amazon Prime Minister I’m ringleader of the carefree world