Like generals husbands are always preparing to f… while their wives are always prepa… to fight the last just war
It took years of therapy but the octopus finally arrived at… that the reason she didn’t like th… was because they were so much alik…
During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity
Physicists insist that time can flow both forward and backward So, I always insist on sitting in the backward facing seats of th… because I need to be able to see
Just when you think You’ve seen it all It all falls apart So, you put it back together again Thinking this time it’s forever
If Wile E. Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner he’d suddenly lose interest
Do me a favor and riddle me this: Is he favored to win Because he’s our favorite Or is he our favorite Because he’s favored to win?
Once I realized that I wasn’t afraid of sky diving just that my parachute wouldn’t op… I was able to conquer my fear without ever leaving the ground
The quartermaster is responsible f… and nothing more Some of you will be content to half-ass the rest of it Some of you will be willing to ris…
Starting gun to my head I’ll finish what you started And run the race By running in place
He should have said: If everything is permitted then God does not exist
The cogito may be airtight but its reverse– I am, therefore I think– is less certain
Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated
We’d all been taught As the temps got hot That all was for naught And that was our lot So, we’d cashed out and bought
Everybody knows the unwritten rule… Everybody thinks they know the unw… Nobody knows when the unwritten pu…
