Having heard that God is everywhe… and failing to see Him anywhere the unbeliever deduces that God is neither here nor there when, in fact, God is in the air
The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…
Most people can get away with sweeping a few things under the ru… but when I started working at the… I couldn’t help noticing how the rugs looked like
1. Make so much money you could he… 2. Remind yourself that “there’s n… 3. Tell yourself you need to feed… 4. Eat like kings
Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want
God gave us creation and said Help yourself and so, we plundered it realizing too late that the only way
Human beings need to compete for what they want To ruin human beings try meeting their needs
Like Ikea fur– niture, I am difficult to put together
Like a fine wine liberalism only rises to the subli… with a good pairing
LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio
Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant
If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask
The quartermaster is responsible f… and nothing more Some of you will be content to half-ass the rest of it Some of you will be willing to ris…
In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that
While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house