My utopia is a dystopia where I get to say I told you so

The American cure for the boredom of meaninglessness is not to pursue meaning but to outpace boredom which is why our mass nihilism

The banyan tree grows up around a host tree which eventually dies leaving the banyan hollow at its c…

On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…

Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant

When someone says Ask me anything You wonder what you’re not allowed… But that’s exactly what you can’t… Because they don’t know

As the Zamboni driver erasing everything that just happe… so it can all happen again I am preparing for my own death

In theory rule by consensus sounds more democratic but in practice it leads to hung juries

My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game

To those who say they’ll keep working until they die I say don’t die–

Having finally found my place I am ready for anything And everything Don’t worry– There’s a place for anyone

All behavior is purposeful and all behavior is self-serving until you realize that all behavior is self-serving which is when you find out what ha…

In the movies they always guess right when it’s time to cut the blue wire or the red wire on the ticking time bomb

My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act

Well at least he died doing something he felt he had no choice about