I am a minimalist if only because it requires minimal effort

Notice how the giraffe evolved so that its neck is precisely long… to reach the water when it bends d…

When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade

They can kick you out and send you to Siberia but they can’t kick God out of Siberia

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

It’s only once You’ve submitted to God’s will That God will say Surprise Me

They can’t kick sand in your face if your head is al– ready in the sand

I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food

My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something

We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other

The first half of life: Did I say that? The second half of life: I did say that The end of life:

How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb? None– We turn to an inner light

The crucial moment in my elevator pitch comes when I hit the emergency stop button

In the official version of my life I love my life In real life I love life itself

Physically unscathed after a life of piracy he was forced to lean heavily on his emotional scarring