The lamppost is an outpost Where it’s safe to admit That between you, me, and the lamp… Self-knowledge is over-rated Self-deception is automated

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

The most radical act has become One that gives you meaning Without getting you attention Not because we don’t need one anot… We all do–

I may not be the man who has everything but I’m the man who knows what to get for the man who has everything

I’d always said Que sera, sera expecting the last guffaw Instead it’s a last hurrah before one or the other coups d’et…

Two roads diverged the one to the left leading up the garden path the one to the right leading down the garden path

A poem is worth A thousand pictures A life is worth A thousand paper cuts So, if I were to

When antisemites blame Jews They haven’t taken responsibility Which means they aren’t free Leaving them no choice But to blame Jews

I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof

I don’t know what being alone with your thoughts is like for you but for me it’s like I’m watching them

We don’t understand our childhoods so we spend our adult lives reenacting them in the hope that an outside observer

The saying goes: We learn from the past, but we don… But the reverse is also true: If we don’t learn from the past, t… In other words

Everybody knows That everybody hates group project… But everybody is a group project Which is why everybody hates thems… Unless the group wisdom

We don’t have to take care of our… But we have no choice God doesn’t have to be with us But He always is– The choice is ours