Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…

I’m neither handy nor a dandy but my wife still finds me handy d…

You keep the peace they get everything else

In the movies they always guess right when it’s time to cut the blue wire or the red wire on the ticking time bomb

Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…

Because the Real is unimaginable effective liars exploit what people want to be true– This is known as the Unreal But the opposite of the Unreal

The biggest risk of immortality is the lack of risk Chances are you’ll be bored to dea… for all eternity

Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing

“Did you know that your brain regularly fills in for missing information, much of the time without you even knowing that this is going on?” “(I)t happens so very quickly and without con...

Desperate to identify new funding… We gambled that a steady stream of… Would flow to those whose stream o… Forebode the worst downstream effe… So, we began livestreaming the fut…

Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

Whoever said It’s lonely at the top must have never had their own spelling group in third grade

As social animals the central question of our lives asked and answered answered and asked day upon day

My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion