My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough

The ill-informed Regret to inform you That knowledge is dour But groupthink is power

I’ve now reached the age when anticipation con– sists of nostalgia

When they said God is dead They just meant God is forbidden And like a fool

When I listen to the blues I can’t stop thinking of advice I’d give

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

At first blush It all seems so unfair– We have to both please God And thank Him But then we blush

Sex is like The world’s most powerful wild ani… And we are to ride it Since it is the only force strong… For the building and maintenance o…

The usual cruelty Is having multiple children And enforcing a hierarchy In order to keep the peace Unusual cruelty

When you have to be rich just to be middle class what do you have to do to be rich? That’s what they call a good quest… And since you have no choice

Free speech is when you can say anything you want as long as you don’t really believe it

Unconditional love is unbearable so there’s always at least one unspoken rule given to its recipie… Just don’t waste it on them

You have bathed in the Fountain o… Every time you wash off the sweat After a hard day’s work

One wonders how they arrived at the 140 character limit per Twe… Did they consult the Kabbalah the average length of haiku or the heart rate of the hummingbi…

I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut