I wasn’t shocked when scientists announced that a universe already infinitely… could still be expanding because I do have an ego

My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game

You would think doing well on social media would give you strength in numbers but you only end up

We are hard wired for cooperation to better compete Marxism fails because it enacts a competition

A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family

When you have to share everything else you can still hog the blame pie

I was an idea man with one good idea and I have no idea why they stole my idea of a good t… when they could just have it

Beware the self-loathing salesman who loves what he does– If you buy what he’s selling then you bought it because you broke it

It didn’t matter that I’d been scrupulously carbon neutral; my interlocutors persisted until I realized that the desire to make… had left a vast carbon footprint o…

People are the opposite of baked potatoes– If you keep poking holes in their theories they will explode

Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one

When someone says Ask me anything You wonder what you’re not allowed… But that’s exactly what you can’t… Because they don’t know

If you leave well enough alone for long enough you’ll have enough to make you cry

The problem is we’re running out of time and the only solution is playing the long game

You can tell that the far right Borg and the far left Borg are one Borg because Donald Trump