Some people say They were born too late; I was almost born too soon But then along came the internet Just in time to stop time–

Evil is cruelty plus pleasure

In countries with official state-r… Everyone pretends to pay attention So that they can go back to being… In countries with unacknowledged s… Everyone pays attention

To break up with your significant other just say I need space To break it off

The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them

When God said Let there be light What exactly did He enable? One clue is that light behaves As both a particle and a wave

Where once the Imaginary, the Sym… formed three sides of the same coi… now there is but one side to every… as the Imaginary is displaced by t… the Symbolic is scrambled in servi…

When the loyal opposition smelled a rat the administration’s defense centered on the fact that it wasn’t the rats that had carrie…

When America was grouped by right… We could always meet in the middle… This was called democracy But those days are over With America divided into

In this age of relentless people p… the merest exercise of reason is always a form of treason

We used to worry about selling out; now we’re terrified of not buying in

Caught between a rock and a hard p… we will sink or swim: Sink like a rock or swim in a hard place– the opposite of walking on water–

The poems Write themselves But they don’t Type themselves

As Amazon Prime Minister I’m ringleader of the carefree world

When at last my colleagues convinced me to go out after work and I’d relaxed enough to drop my… everyone could finally see my helm…