Free speech is when you can say anything you want as long as you don’t really believe it
I’m always asking God What is the meaning of life? In response, God looks at my life… What is the meaning of this?
Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want
They can kick you out and send you to Siberia but they can’t kick God out of Siberia
The ugly duckling Is not a duck But he is a lucky duck
Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing
Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser
The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…
It’s still wise not to panic but now it’s because you need to keep your powder dry for a moral panic
You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling
It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral
I know the world is round from experience: I ran from the truth for so long that I ran smack into it
For every deep dive into the data there’s a data analyst with the be…
Updating Nietzsche with a nod to Vince Lombardi Art isn’t the proper task of life; it’s the only task of life if life…
The funny thing is if you’re continually nervous about getting into a wreck you become a nervous wreck and then