I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut
It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral
The turning point came after I pegged my happi– ness to the dollar
The Real is meaningless but doesn’t lack meaning The Symbolic is meaningful but can lack all meaning We can only navigate
My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something
Putin lost his mind then he lost his war then he lost his job or Putin dropped the mask
My greatest fear is losing control but I’m not in control I have an eternal soul but I’m afraid to die I’m scared of making mistakes
It used to be true that “All the world’s a stage” but now that all the world wide web’s a gauge the real world’s but a Faraday Ca…
The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual
God will accept everything about you but the one thing He won’t take is the blame
All men come with self-destruct bu… If he seems to be missing one, you’re the button
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…
The tough part about loving someon… is that connection supports autono… It’s tough to love someone enough to grant them their freedom and you can only do so
On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…