Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food
The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet
Our surveillance state is uniquely American in that it is of the people by the people and for the people
When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade
When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…
I tried using my get out of jail free card but the CVV on the back was Roman Numerals for eleven
Jews learned the hard way That because God sanctions God also sanctions– In this lies their certainty about… Most other nations just know
The cold war was a just war but a just war is still just war and war is hell
In the New Age everybody knows that everything happens for a reason but nobody knows the reason so, everybody pastes together
When women need a break from the m… they must be able to endure a whole lot of his navel gazing
A materialist looks around at ever… It’s all an accident His friend, the believer, adds his… It was an accident waiting to happ… The materialist and the believer a…
If you count the rings on a tree stump it will tell you the cost of doing business
Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists
Until the company’s weekend retrea… I didn’t know that my leadership s… was like never having braces but still wearing a retainer
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
